~Primitive Porn~

I have recently discovered the Travel Channel. I watch it after I put the kids to bed, then I set on the

back porch and smoke a cigarette before going in for round two. If the travel channel is showing some wonderful place like Venice or Rome I

skip channels and come back later. I channel surf past it until I get what I am looking for; Primitive Porn.

Last night it was a two-fer special. First there was the Marrying tribe of the Amazon. In this tribe the woman have more then one husband,

the 'star' of the show had four husbands. Everyone in the tribe walked around naked and the star of the show had the amazing ability to set

on the ground with a child leaning against her back nursing. The stars special talent was that she had two foot long tube boobs and therefore

her nipple could be shoved under her armpit and wrapped around her back for the waiting child and she was able to pound her yucca in relative

peace.

Scintillating stuff, but wait! It gets better.

When the stars husbands started emerging from the woods with the pile of birds it suddenly became clear to me why she had four husbands. Each

husband was naked except for a little white cloth wrapped around the shaft of his pecker, and I do mean a little scrap of cloth. I paid very

close attention to the stars husbands and realized that there wasn't one of them that was sporting more then an inch of passion.

I felt for her. Poor thing, four husbands and not five inches between them.

The second show was about the Yali tribe. This is my favorite travel channel special and I will happily stay up until the early hours of the

morning to see them. The Yali tribe has its assortment of bare breasted women, and I must say, bare breasted primitive women all look pretty

much the same. (The bare breasted primitive women I saw in my Grandparents National Geographic magazines are the reason I always wear a bra.)

The Yali women have the ability to nurse babies behind their backs, nurse a baby and plant a garden--the Yali women can nurse a baby and

preform any task that must be accomplished.

The women are amazing, but it is the men I am longing to see.

The men wear an outfit that consists of a slinky skirt and a giant funnel attached to their penis.

href="http://images.google.com/images?q=Yali%20Tribe&hl=en&lr=&rls=GGLD,GGLD:2004-25,GGLD:en&sa=N&tab=wi">I am not kidding.

The funnel tapers at the end and some of the tribe members tie little tassels and pieces of fruit to the end of their stick. When the men are

working they use a piece of string to tie their funnel to their neck, but when they are partying down they let those funnels bob about in a

jolly most festive manner. My favorite person on the Yali special is a tiny old man who is sitting on a stump. He is telling a story about

something very important--I don't remember what--the reason I can't remember is that I am fascinated with his gigantic balls that hang to the

ground below him and his incredibly long funnel. It is tied to his neck and extends perhaps a foot above his head.

I wonder if he is compensating?

The Yali men sleep in a man's hut and the women sleep in the women's hut. The amazing thing about the Yali men's sleeping arrangments is that

they each wear their four foot funnel to bed, and yet no funnel trespasses into another man's space. Frankly that has to be a talent, how

many husbands do you know with four foot long funnels that stay on their own side of the bed?

The sleeping arrangments are good, the old man with the dusty balls is great, the dancing Yali with thier festive funnels are fabulous--but

the man who runs across the bridge with his Yali funnel blazing ahead is worth every minute I stay up late to see him.

I don't know when the Yali will be on again, but if you give me your name and phone number I will give you a head's up.

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Comments

[Tulipmania]

De-lurking to say I love your blog--I want to see that special!! Ooooh, I love stuff like that. It reminds me of all the

interesting anthropolgy classes in college.Call me! Or write me at my blog. Or email me.Seriously.

[Remo]

Monster trucks, goatees, and four-foot funnels. You know what they always say: Anything longer than a foot-long funnel is just a waste.

[hotfoots]

ROFL!! [Gasp/sputter/choke/hack]That really should have come with a warning label. Keyboards loooooove Coke-through-the-nose.

The visual alone will keep Victoria rolling in lots of Secrets.

[christian louboutin]

In June of 1996, chez Domaine du Val des Rois, in Valreas, I tasted a 1969 rose that my host, Romain Bouchard, had made, from Grenache, Syrah, and Gamay, and it was breath-taking! Only very slightly past its prime, but still vivid and precise, and riveting. After which we tasted a Tavel, from...1968--a terrible year--and it was more tired than the Bouchard wine, but amazingly still quite interesting.

[air jordans]

Writing an exact man,i admire you.

[Nike SB]

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I want to bring out the secrets of nature and apply them for the happiness of man . I don't know of any better service to offer for the short time we are in the world .(Thomas Edison , American inventor)